I became a U.S. citizen in March. That’s right; after 15 years of living in the land of the free and home of the brave, I decided to become naturalized. It was actually a really tough decision, but very intentional. Anyways, we are taught that our flag waves for freedom and the statue of liberty represents democracy. From a young age we learn that the USA is the greatest nation and democracy is the best form of government.
I hope everyone realizes that each country has its mistakes, issues and major weaknesses, including America (simply put). I don't intend to crucify the US; no one forced me to become a citizen after all. However, the fight for freedom and democracy is so glorified and romanticized in our nation. I wouldn't have minded being the wife of "The Patriot", played by Mel Gibson, during the Revolutionary War...as long as I could have had Mel Gibson. But, real life doesn't really work that way; besides, there's only one Mel Gibson.
In mid-March of this year, thousands of protestors called the "red shirts" marched into Bangkok and set up a camp in the city's downtown business district. Their cause? Justice and democracy. A fight for freedom.
In a sense, it was very admirable and I sympathize with them greatly. The people of the north and northeast in Thailand are not only significantly poorer than the rest of the country, but they are usually ignored by the government and regarded as a lower class of citizens. They are often treated like blacks were before the Civil Rights Movement in the US.
When I arrived to Bangkok, I knew what was going on...sort of. I knew that there were some kind of protests happening and that about 20 people were killed and 80 injured by grenades tossed into the SkyTrain (that I would be taking everyday) in April. I consciously failed to mention all of this to my family and most friends. Since there was only a travel warning to Thailand and no restriction, I went anyways.
Because everything was so new to me that first week, it was difficult to differentiate what was out of the ordinary in the city. Soldiers stationed at the SkyTrain stations didn't seem odd. However, at the intersection where my office is located, the road was blocked off with tires, barbed wire and massive bamboo sticks. Something wasn't right there. This was a blockade that led into the protestors encampment. On my first day, I went to lunch to a nearby food court with my Aussie friend. We had to walk down the street through the protests. It's definitely not as exciting as it sounds...believe me. Only one lane was open for traffic on the road that normally has 3 lanes going in each direction. Tents were set up and many people were lying on the ground; large trucks were playing propaganda speeches over loud speakers. I discovered the hard way that bus station covers were turned into shower stalls when I happened to glance through the large gaps of one and see a naked man showering. Let's just say it wasn't Mel Gibson. It was absurd actually.
Thousands of people flooded into the capital and spent months camping out in the hot, humid and polluted city in order to have their voices heard. What is tragic is that many of them were used by power-thirsty politicians who have little regard for the rights and lives of these people. In early May, the government presented a roadmap for peace, an attempt for reconciliation with promises of an election. However, the leaders of the protestors rejected this plan because they demanded immunity for a corrupt leader. The nation was shocked. What was the protest all about after all? It became clear that the red shirts were divided and the leadership had mixed motives, many of which were not justice and democracy after all. Besides the strategic location of the protests, everything else seemed pointless to me. As I walked out if the protest camp that day, I began wondering how justice and democracy could actually be achieved through such ineffective attempts.
On day 4 of my internship, our office was evacuated. Soon after, public transportation was shut down and a curfew was imposed. The government came in with a military crackdown after repeated warnings to the protestors. Over 80 people were killed and nearly 1,500 injured. I saw pillars of smoke from my apartment as Central World, Southeast Asia's largest mall, was burning. Needless to say, the damage was astounding considering economic loss over the course of the 2 months, damage to dozens of buildings, and most tragically the loss of human life.
So, what now? Where's the glory? Thousands of people spend months on the streets in scorching heat, showering from hoses in make-shift stalls...only to be run off by the military without any promises of elections or reform. Not only were their lives disrupted for months, but they caused an enormous inconvenience to the capital. Just imagine thousands of people storming into Times Square, stopping traffic, closing businesses and camping out for 2 months. Who can blame the government for the crackdown? No other country would have tolerated such a demonstration.
There's no answer to my previous question. What now? Bangkok is relatively calm. I've been enjoying life since I've been released from house arrest and the curfew was lifted. Again, I'm very sympathetic to the red shirts' cause, but not their management. I think the government needs to take steps towards reconciliation, but I cannot blame them for the actions they took earlier.
It's such a difficult situation. What is democracy all about? This is not only about Thailand, but countless nations in the world. What is the cost of justice and human rights? Must human life be lost for human rights?
I don't want to end my blog this way, but I struggle with what to say next. In fact, this is my third attempt at a final paragraph. Unfortunately, I don't have the answers for such tough questions. Apparently, nobody does since we're all still fighting. But, let us strive to be sensitive, compassionate, tolerant and proactive individuals, not to see everything from the lense of our Western upbringing. There's so much more in this world that we don't even begin to comprehend, so many angles that don't fit into our American understanding. Ignorance is only bliss for those who are not being affected. We have the responsibility to know, care and act. As many people, I often feel a heavy responsibility those in need. However, I remember that I don't answer to anyone except God. BUT, Jesus said that when we serve "the least of these" we are serving him. And this explains the burden on my heart. We have the OPPORTUNITY to know, care and act; and as a result, we carry the responsibility to do so. Perhaps the toughest question of all, one which is answerable, is what are we doing to make a difference?
Friday, June 25, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Advertise My Identity
As most people close to me know, I cannot tan. My skin is not pale (clears throat); it is fair. Regardless of the adjective used to define my extreme whiteness, the truth is, is that I’m really white. When I get sunburn, I suffer with no consolation that it’ll turn into a tan…because it won’t. I’ll just go back to being white again. It’s a vicious cycle, I tell you! I’ve pretty much accepted my skin tone, came to the conclusion that I’ll never be tan, and am okay with the fact on most days.
Now, I currently live in Thailand. For those who know any Thai people or Southeast Asians, know that they have naturally darker skin. In other words, most people here have a natural, nice looking tan.
I was absolutely shocked by the advertisements here. Most of the people in commercials are young of course, but despite their Thai looking facial features, they have extremely white skin. Additionally, I see at least 15 commercials every day on my way to work on the SkyTrain and at least half of these are advertising sunblock brands. I was chatting about this with an Australian coworker of mine and he said that I should be careful when buying sunblock here, because most brands contain bleach in them. Really? Really!
After further reflection, I asked myself why I was so shocked. I’ve come from one culture obsessed with changing their skin tone in order to supposedly look better and fit the mold created by society… into another culture that does the same exact thing. Instead of adding bleach to our sunblock, there are countless tanning lotions, tanning salons, and the wipes that automatically darken your skin (guilty).
Why? Would we all live happily ever after if we had the desired skin tone, hair color, waist size, etc? Doubtful. Why are we so insecure in the way we look? I understand and agree with the fact that we need to be healthy and appear presentable in public, or whatever. But, what's up with tbe obsession to change who we are from the outside? Who or what are we striving to become?
True change and identity comes from within, from the inside out. Our identities are defined not by our appearance, but by our character, heart and mind. Have you every known someone who you didn't find attractive at first, but after getting to know that person, he/she became beautiful to you? That is the remarkable essence of character! Anyone can dye their hair, buy certain clothing and get a tan (except me perhaps). But, not everyone can sacrifice their time, show love and compassion, and possess a true understanding of people's needs.
Now, I currently live in Thailand. For those who know any Thai people or Southeast Asians, know that they have naturally darker skin. In other words, most people here have a natural, nice looking tan.
I was absolutely shocked by the advertisements here. Most of the people in commercials are young of course, but despite their Thai looking facial features, they have extremely white skin. Additionally, I see at least 15 commercials every day on my way to work on the SkyTrain and at least half of these are advertising sunblock brands. I was chatting about this with an Australian coworker of mine and he said that I should be careful when buying sunblock here, because most brands contain bleach in them. Really? Really!
After further reflection, I asked myself why I was so shocked. I’ve come from one culture obsessed with changing their skin tone in order to supposedly look better and fit the mold created by society… into another culture that does the same exact thing. Instead of adding bleach to our sunblock, there are countless tanning lotions, tanning salons, and the wipes that automatically darken your skin (guilty).
Why? Would we all live happily ever after if we had the desired skin tone, hair color, waist size, etc? Doubtful. Why are we so insecure in the way we look? I understand and agree with the fact that we need to be healthy and appear presentable in public, or whatever. But, what's up with tbe obsession to change who we are from the outside? Who or what are we striving to become?
True change and identity comes from within, from the inside out. Our identities are defined not by our appearance, but by our character, heart and mind. Have you every known someone who you didn't find attractive at first, but after getting to know that person, he/she became beautiful to you? That is the remarkable essence of character! Anyone can dye their hair, buy certain clothing and get a tan (except me perhaps). But, not everyone can sacrifice their time, show love and compassion, and possess a true understanding of people's needs.
Friday, June 18, 2010
The River Keeps Flowing
The night after realizing my ignorance and wanting to quit, I had a dream. In the dream, I found myself on a plane on my way back home. I walked into my house and was embraced by my family and friends. It felt so good to be home! After some time when I was alone in my room, I realized that my internship wasn’t over and I needed to be in Bangkok. I frantically ran out and told my parents that I had to urgently fly back. They tried to persuade that I stay at home because I was already there. But, I insisted that I needed to go back to Thailand. I wanted to go back.
In the morning I woke up in my Bangkok apartment, so relieved and glad that I was still there.
I gathered up any remaining confidence and set off to work. I stuck my head into Gerry’s office just to say good morning and asked politely how he was doing. He answered, “Every day is a good day; every breath is a good breath, because we’re living and breathing. You know, the river keeps flowing.” And that’s when I realized that life will move on despite how ignorant I was.
During the course of the morning, Gerry and I were talking about some assignments. We got off on a tangent and began to discuss things not directly relevant to work. It was then that I managed to shock him when I answered a question that he was convinced no one knew the answer to. (It was about history – the Ottoman Empire, actually – go figure, what else would I know?) Towards the end of the conversation, he said that he had to admit that he was glad I was here.
What?!? I became even more convinced that majoring in history was one of the best choices I’ve ever made.
Despite feeling like a million bucks for approximately 17 minutes, I was still lost and confused. However, I slowly began to differentiate between ignorance and incompetency. This became a crucial lesson for me, and I believe for others as well. So, I will share my discovery with you.
Ignorance is basically the lack of knowledge. I’m discovering that the more I learn, the more there is for me to know. There can be an excitement about ignorance, contained in the fact that we can learn, grow and explore new knowledge, facts and ideas. Incompetency, on the other hand, means lack of ability. I came to realize that just because I am ignorant in so many areas of life, this did not mean that I was incompetent to learn and grow.
Life is about a journey in which we are molded and changed. Although it felt so good to be in the comfort of my home in my dream, I still longed to be in Bangkok amidst challenges that would force me to stretch and grow. It was about much more than just my internship, but the entire experience including being on my own, relationships (or the attempt to build some), loneliness, identity and so much more.
Once I began to grasp the difference between ignorance and incompetence, I reviewed my situation once again. I was ignorant. I was not incompetent. Therefore, I could put forth a great effort to learn and acquire new knowledge.
That’s how life is. We have great challenges where everything seems impossible. And everything probably is impossible … on our own. But, the incredible thing is, is that God is not only competent in every way, but also knows everything. He can and will give us the courage, wisdom and ability to overcome our difficulties in order to mold us into a more perfect image of him. Life will continue. The river keeps flowing.
In the morning I woke up in my Bangkok apartment, so relieved and glad that I was still there.
I gathered up any remaining confidence and set off to work. I stuck my head into Gerry’s office just to say good morning and asked politely how he was doing. He answered, “Every day is a good day; every breath is a good breath, because we’re living and breathing. You know, the river keeps flowing.” And that’s when I realized that life will move on despite how ignorant I was.
During the course of the morning, Gerry and I were talking about some assignments. We got off on a tangent and began to discuss things not directly relevant to work. It was then that I managed to shock him when I answered a question that he was convinced no one knew the answer to. (It was about history – the Ottoman Empire, actually – go figure, what else would I know?) Towards the end of the conversation, he said that he had to admit that he was glad I was here.
What?!? I became even more convinced that majoring in history was one of the best choices I’ve ever made.
Despite feeling like a million bucks for approximately 17 minutes, I was still lost and confused. However, I slowly began to differentiate between ignorance and incompetency. This became a crucial lesson for me, and I believe for others as well. So, I will share my discovery with you.
Ignorance is basically the lack of knowledge. I’m discovering that the more I learn, the more there is for me to know. There can be an excitement about ignorance, contained in the fact that we can learn, grow and explore new knowledge, facts and ideas. Incompetency, on the other hand, means lack of ability. I came to realize that just because I am ignorant in so many areas of life, this did not mean that I was incompetent to learn and grow.
Life is about a journey in which we are molded and changed. Although it felt so good to be in the comfort of my home in my dream, I still longed to be in Bangkok amidst challenges that would force me to stretch and grow. It was about much more than just my internship, but the entire experience including being on my own, relationships (or the attempt to build some), loneliness, identity and so much more.
Once I began to grasp the difference between ignorance and incompetence, I reviewed my situation once again. I was ignorant. I was not incompetent. Therefore, I could put forth a great effort to learn and acquire new knowledge.
That’s how life is. We have great challenges where everything seems impossible. And everything probably is impossible … on our own. But, the incredible thing is, is that God is not only competent in every way, but also knows everything. He can and will give us the courage, wisdom and ability to overcome our difficulties in order to mold us into a more perfect image of him. Life will continue. The river keeps flowing.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Who Cares? Nobody, but My Mom
I arrived in Bangkok on Friday night, around midnight. I spent the weekend getting settled in and exploring the city a bit. My internship began on Monday. Now, I’ve mentioned previously that I knew very little about this position; which was actually being generous. One of my friends did this internship last year, so he told me a few things about it. All I knew is that I would have a boss who is impossible to describe and I would have to be very self-motivated at work. Period. That’s right; I know you’re thinking I’m crazy. And you’re probably right. I moved to Bangkok for a position that I knew nothing about. Outrageous.
Having been here for over a month now, I can say a few things about my internship. I have a boss who is impossible to describe and I have to be very self-motivated at work. No joke.
Since I like to attempt the impossible, I’m going to try to describe my boss and share some tough lessons I’ve learned through him. Gerry is incredible. He is Irish and immensely intense. He is the single most interesting person I have ever met in my life. He is the Head of the Programme Unit here at the regional office, which means that he makes sure the country offices have legit programs to keep their beneficiaries fed…I think. Gerry is actually sincerely concerned that there are approximately 1 billion people in the world that suffer from hunger. That’s why he does his job; a juicy paycheck is just a bonus, I’m sure.
The first week I was there, he threw several vague assignments at me. At that point, I knew very little about the UN World Food Programme, which made everything 100 times more difficult. Halfway through the week, we were having coffee and discussing work and the internship. He was explaining that his style of work is very intense and he likes to stretch people. He also explained that there were different types of people who have different working styles, and that there are different internships for different people. He finished by saying that this was a very intense and difficult internship.
I felt slapped in the face. Did he just politely state that he thinks I’m not tough enough for this internship? “Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” I smiled with a sweet smirk at him.
I went back to my desk, looked at my work and had no idea what I was doing. I was completely lost to be honest. On top of moving to a city of 6.3 million people all by myself, not knowing anyone and starting an internship I knew nothing about, my boss considered me incompetent for the position. It sucked. Bad.
I’ve always been good at everything I did; not just good, but usually the best. My GPA has always been awesome; I was the valedictorian (of a grade D school). I’ve had good jobs with much responsibility. I’ve always been able to learn things quickly, figure stuff out, and come up with the most effective ways of accomplishing things. On top of all of this, I had awesome people skills. Man, I was IT! Or so I thought.
Within a few short days, I figured out that I am much more ignorant than knowledgeable. Worst of all was the fact that nobody cared about all of my previous accomplishments. Sure, my resume helped me get the internship, but it wasn’t going to get me through it. All of that no longer mattered. Nobody cared, but my mom. I would have to prove myself all over again. And I felt lonely, frustrated, vulnerable and scared. Did I mention it sucked?
An inflated bubble of pride popped loudly. It was a very much needed realization. I always try to battle my pride, but experiences such as these help end the war pretty quickly. The prideful casualty lay withering in the corner as I stared blankly at my vague assignments. My confidence and competency wavered significantly. I wanted to quit.
(To be continued in next blog...)
Having been here for over a month now, I can say a few things about my internship. I have a boss who is impossible to describe and I have to be very self-motivated at work. No joke.
Since I like to attempt the impossible, I’m going to try to describe my boss and share some tough lessons I’ve learned through him. Gerry is incredible. He is Irish and immensely intense. He is the single most interesting person I have ever met in my life. He is the Head of the Programme Unit here at the regional office, which means that he makes sure the country offices have legit programs to keep their beneficiaries fed…I think. Gerry is actually sincerely concerned that there are approximately 1 billion people in the world that suffer from hunger. That’s why he does his job; a juicy paycheck is just a bonus, I’m sure.
The first week I was there, he threw several vague assignments at me. At that point, I knew very little about the UN World Food Programme, which made everything 100 times more difficult. Halfway through the week, we were having coffee and discussing work and the internship. He was explaining that his style of work is very intense and he likes to stretch people. He also explained that there were different types of people who have different working styles, and that there are different internships for different people. He finished by saying that this was a very intense and difficult internship.
I felt slapped in the face. Did he just politely state that he thinks I’m not tough enough for this internship? “Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” I smiled with a sweet smirk at him.
I went back to my desk, looked at my work and had no idea what I was doing. I was completely lost to be honest. On top of moving to a city of 6.3 million people all by myself, not knowing anyone and starting an internship I knew nothing about, my boss considered me incompetent for the position. It sucked. Bad.
I’ve always been good at everything I did; not just good, but usually the best. My GPA has always been awesome; I was the valedictorian (of a grade D school). I’ve had good jobs with much responsibility. I’ve always been able to learn things quickly, figure stuff out, and come up with the most effective ways of accomplishing things. On top of all of this, I had awesome people skills. Man, I was IT! Or so I thought.
Within a few short days, I figured out that I am much more ignorant than knowledgeable. Worst of all was the fact that nobody cared about all of my previous accomplishments. Sure, my resume helped me get the internship, but it wasn’t going to get me through it. All of that no longer mattered. Nobody cared, but my mom. I would have to prove myself all over again. And I felt lonely, frustrated, vulnerable and scared. Did I mention it sucked?
An inflated bubble of pride popped loudly. It was a very much needed realization. I always try to battle my pride, but experiences such as these help end the war pretty quickly. The prideful casualty lay withering in the corner as I stared blankly at my vague assignments. My confidence and competency wavered significantly. I wanted to quit.
(To be continued in next blog...)
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Journey of Tears - When Reality Smacked Me in the Face
Do you ever just stop, reflect on your life - where you're at, at that certain moment, and think, "How in the world did I get here?" Sometimes, reality does feel like a movie. Back to my theory about my outrageous, logical and emotional sides, which only seemed brilliant until I actually typed it up and published it in a blog. Dang it. Anyways, once I made the outrageous decision to do this internship, the dates were finalized and the money grant came through, I purchased my ticket and my emotions kicked in. I became scared to death. I was scared because it was no longer just talk, but it was actually walk and there was no turning back. I was moving to the furthest part of the globe, living by myself for the first time, and participating in an internship that I knew very little about.
After about a week of being afraid, I calmed down after talking to some people and getting busy with actual preparations. Now fortunately, the reality didn't smack me in the face until I was flying. Talk about being slow...I'm blonde, what can I say? And I say fortunately because if it had smacked me beforehand, I'm not sure if I would have gone. Let me try to explain what I mean.
I literally felt myself being torn from my family and friends. It was on my connecting flight from Minneapolis to Seattle that I realized that I would be absolutely by myself. During my layover in Seattle, I thought of all the ways I could miss my flight and go back home. But, I knew it was too late. I tried calling anyone I could to say goodbye, to hear their voices one more time. My dad was the last person I spoke with; I was already on plane about to take off across the Pacific Ocean. I tried to keep my voice calm and strong, but I know he heard the tears in my voice as he reassured me and told me everything was going to be ok.
Everything didn't seem ok. I have never felt so alone in my life. I tried not to cry, but couldn't help myself. I tried not to sob and wail, so I put my hand over my mouth as to not make noise. I commanded my logical side to control my emotions, but outrageous had already won over. It was a long horrifying journey. By the time I arrived in Tokyo and had to catch another 7 hour flight to Bangkok, I was completely numb. I wasn't sure if God was flying with me to Thailand.
At some point, I remembered why I was moving. I've heard several times that women who escape abusive relationships tend to return to them, because that's all they've known for such a long time. The fear of the unknown is more difficult to live with than being in control of harsh reality. I'm not saying that my life had been harsh before, but I had been given the opportunity for an amazing experience. Thankfully, I couldn't turn back. I literally had no choice but to trust God.
But, what about the times when we do have a choice whether or not to trust God? So many times he wants to take us to the next level or completely change the direction of our lives, but we're too scared because we don't know what's going to happen. Why? Why do we not trust? I ask this question first to myself. Do we really think we can do things better? Now, that's good joke!
The more I think about this phenomena, the more it blows my mind. God is both transcendent and immanent. That means God created the world, so he's not part of his creation, but he takes an active role in the world with his creation. God, the creator of the entire universe, has a personal interest in my life, knows the plans he has for me...plans to prosper and not harm me, to give me a hope and a future. Regardless of how tough reality can smack you in the face, there's always a bigger picture, a greater plan. All you have to do is trust.
After about a week of being afraid, I calmed down after talking to some people and getting busy with actual preparations. Now fortunately, the reality didn't smack me in the face until I was flying. Talk about being slow...I'm blonde, what can I say? And I say fortunately because if it had smacked me beforehand, I'm not sure if I would have gone. Let me try to explain what I mean.
I literally felt myself being torn from my family and friends. It was on my connecting flight from Minneapolis to Seattle that I realized that I would be absolutely by myself. During my layover in Seattle, I thought of all the ways I could miss my flight and go back home. But, I knew it was too late. I tried calling anyone I could to say goodbye, to hear their voices one more time. My dad was the last person I spoke with; I was already on plane about to take off across the Pacific Ocean. I tried to keep my voice calm and strong, but I know he heard the tears in my voice as he reassured me and told me everything was going to be ok.
Everything didn't seem ok. I have never felt so alone in my life. I tried not to cry, but couldn't help myself. I tried not to sob and wail, so I put my hand over my mouth as to not make noise. I commanded my logical side to control my emotions, but outrageous had already won over. It was a long horrifying journey. By the time I arrived in Tokyo and had to catch another 7 hour flight to Bangkok, I was completely numb. I wasn't sure if God was flying with me to Thailand.
At some point, I remembered why I was moving. I've heard several times that women who escape abusive relationships tend to return to them, because that's all they've known for such a long time. The fear of the unknown is more difficult to live with than being in control of harsh reality. I'm not saying that my life had been harsh before, but I had been given the opportunity for an amazing experience. Thankfully, I couldn't turn back. I literally had no choice but to trust God.
But, what about the times when we do have a choice whether or not to trust God? So many times he wants to take us to the next level or completely change the direction of our lives, but we're too scared because we don't know what's going to happen. Why? Why do we not trust? I ask this question first to myself. Do we really think we can do things better? Now, that's good joke!
The more I think about this phenomena, the more it blows my mind. God is both transcendent and immanent. That means God created the world, so he's not part of his creation, but he takes an active role in the world with his creation. God, the creator of the entire universe, has a personal interest in my life, knows the plans he has for me...plans to prosper and not harm me, to give me a hope and a future. Regardless of how tough reality can smack you in the face, there's always a bigger picture, a greater plan. All you have to do is trust.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Beginnings
A few days before I departed for Thailand, there was an unofficial small farewell gathering held for me at Mochi’s. Only a few people were there and we sat around chatting, enjoying frozen yogurt. Dima Pshichenko finally asked me how I got myself into this whole situation and was now about to move to Thailand. In my attempt to be clever and funny, I came up with a theory. Afterwards, I realized just how clever the theory was and it actually explains how I got where I am. I will explain it now.
When making decisions, I have 3 inner factors contributing to the decision making process: logical, emotional and outrageous. When presented with an opportunity such as an internship in Bangkok, my outrageous side will demand to go, the logic will take steps to make it happen and my emotions sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. The fact that I’m currently living in Thailand testifies that my outrageous side is probably dominant at this point of my life.
I first heard about this opportunity at the beginning of the fall semester and thought it would be an incredible experience. I also didn’t think it was actually going to happen. It’s one of those things you (or at least I did) dream about when you’re growing up, reading books and watching movies about extraordinary people. But real life is different, right?
Reflection time:
Why does real life have to be different? I understand that life has its major difficulties and challenges; I’m living through many right now. Unfortunately, not every girl is a princess who will in fact be swept off her feet by a knight in shining armor. And too many stories do not end with a ‘happily ever after’. Nevertheless, so many people (myself included) live their lives as if nothing else is available to them, settling for the tradition of their societies and never living to their full potentials. I probably sound like I’m attempting to promote the American Dream. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t support that lie. Dreaming, working hard and acquiring all the material things you’ve ever wanted will never satisfy you. However, if God created us with a greater purpose, which is to serve and bring glory to him, why are so many of us filling a certain mold that may never bring the most glory to God possible? While attending Slavic conferences and meeting new people, if girls are actually in college, I always put my money on a nursing major, and I’m usually right. Nothing against nurses; both of my sisters are fabulous nurses. But, the general concept is mind-blowing! Talk about thinking inside the box!
And then you have another category. People who dream and talk, but the only place they actually do any of their walking is inside their dreams. It’s like writing stories inside your head for yourself and even reading them aloud, but never actually living them.
Why? Do we not believe God is big enough, great enough and awesome enough to make us into something greater? Why have we become so complacent where we are located in life?
So, I applied for the internship and began taking any necessary steps to actually make it happen. I scheduled meetings, sought advice from family and friends, filled out applications, sent a million emails, talked about it, applied for naturalization, prayed about it, and sent more emails. Besides the supernatural, 2 key factors played into my success: persistence and connections. No joke. Persistence is the obvious aspect to any success; but, I would have never gotten this internship if it wasn’t for people I knew, who knew even more important people, etc. etc. Most importantly, God worked everything out so perfectly as if he was eating a piece of dark chocolate cake. I never heard the voice of God in this entire process, but I can’t deny the work of his hand. The fact that I got my citizenship, passport and visa within 6 months time still astonishes me! And so many other details simply fell into place.
So many people sit around waiting for the voice of God, but they fail to take steps and use the resources, wisdom and opportunities that he often places in front of us. We can’t deny when it’s raining just because we sometimes don’t hear thunder or see lightening; we can feel and see the rain. In the same way, just because we sometimes don’t hear God speak or flashy signs, doesn’t mean that he isn’t pouring down his work into our lives; we can sense the evidence of his presence and guidance.
When making decisions, I have 3 inner factors contributing to the decision making process: logical, emotional and outrageous. When presented with an opportunity such as an internship in Bangkok, my outrageous side will demand to go, the logic will take steps to make it happen and my emotions sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. The fact that I’m currently living in Thailand testifies that my outrageous side is probably dominant at this point of my life.
I first heard about this opportunity at the beginning of the fall semester and thought it would be an incredible experience. I also didn’t think it was actually going to happen. It’s one of those things you (or at least I did) dream about when you’re growing up, reading books and watching movies about extraordinary people. But real life is different, right?
Reflection time:
Why does real life have to be different? I understand that life has its major difficulties and challenges; I’m living through many right now. Unfortunately, not every girl is a princess who will in fact be swept off her feet by a knight in shining armor. And too many stories do not end with a ‘happily ever after’. Nevertheless, so many people (myself included) live their lives as if nothing else is available to them, settling for the tradition of their societies and never living to their full potentials. I probably sound like I’m attempting to promote the American Dream. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t support that lie. Dreaming, working hard and acquiring all the material things you’ve ever wanted will never satisfy you. However, if God created us with a greater purpose, which is to serve and bring glory to him, why are so many of us filling a certain mold that may never bring the most glory to God possible? While attending Slavic conferences and meeting new people, if girls are actually in college, I always put my money on a nursing major, and I’m usually right. Nothing against nurses; both of my sisters are fabulous nurses. But, the general concept is mind-blowing! Talk about thinking inside the box!
And then you have another category. People who dream and talk, but the only place they actually do any of their walking is inside their dreams. It’s like writing stories inside your head for yourself and even reading them aloud, but never actually living them.
Why? Do we not believe God is big enough, great enough and awesome enough to make us into something greater? Why have we become so complacent where we are located in life?
So, I applied for the internship and began taking any necessary steps to actually make it happen. I scheduled meetings, sought advice from family and friends, filled out applications, sent a million emails, talked about it, applied for naturalization, prayed about it, and sent more emails. Besides the supernatural, 2 key factors played into my success: persistence and connections. No joke. Persistence is the obvious aspect to any success; but, I would have never gotten this internship if it wasn’t for people I knew, who knew even more important people, etc. etc. Most importantly, God worked everything out so perfectly as if he was eating a piece of dark chocolate cake. I never heard the voice of God in this entire process, but I can’t deny the work of his hand. The fact that I got my citizenship, passport and visa within 6 months time still astonishes me! And so many other details simply fell into place.
So many people sit around waiting for the voice of God, but they fail to take steps and use the resources, wisdom and opportunities that he often places in front of us. We can’t deny when it’s raining just because we sometimes don’t hear thunder or see lightening; we can feel and see the rain. In the same way, just because we sometimes don’t hear God speak or flashy signs, doesn’t mean that he isn’t pouring down his work into our lives; we can sense the evidence of his presence and guidance.
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